Taking Back The Control

Has it really been almost four full months since I wrote a blog entry? Shame on me. But, I have good news - there is less of me to shame!!! Let me document my journey for you.

In January, I turned 40. Ugh, right? Well, I was pretty okay with it. I have a great life; a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally, a beautiful healthy son, great siblings, a great in-law family, good friends, a good job, an awesome chorus to sing with, etc. etc. etc. I can't complain. Well, yes I can.

I have been overweight since I was 17 years old. Initially it was manageable, I could go to Weight Watchers and lose the extra 15-20 lbs. Then in my 20's I started putting it on and keeping it on. I lost weight for my wedding, like most brides do. But pretty much since then, it's been no-holds-barred. I have no excuse, other than absolute laziness. My hubby loves me no matter what weight I am, so therefore there is no motivation to be thin anymore. It's way more fun to eat whatever I want, all.the.time.

That all changed on February 7, 2011 (which also happens to be Garth Brooks' birthday) when I went for a physical. At my last doctor's appointment my blood pressure was elevated, and when the doctor looked back at the last few BP's they were also slightly higher. She came in and told me that I had borderline high blood pressure and needed to act on it, now. She mentioned BP medications, and I don't want to do that. So, we discussed diet, exercise and all the other things I wasn't ready to deal with. The Doc delivered the ultimatum: I either had to lose 10 pounds by May or I would have to go on medicine.

Sounds easy, right?!?! Huh! I went home and told my family that I would have to change my eating habits and get serious about this. I was firm. However, like with every diet I've ever tried, I start to give myself leeway and eat things I shouldn't. Until.....

A letter arrives in the mail 3 days later from the doctor saying that the results from my blood tests showed that I also have high blood sugar. WHAAAT???? No way. Not me. I almost dropped the letter out of my hands. This cannot be my life. I will not be a diabetic. NO FLIPPIN' WAY.

At first I was too ashamed to tell anyone. My hubby had to deal with me all on his own...I actually sobbed one night before going to bed. I was so devastated that I had let my health get this out of control. Eating whatever I wanted for the last 15 years came with a price, and I was not ready to pay. Due to my ferocity that I could not, and would not, be "that person" (you know, the diabetic who has to use insulin, who also had a stroke because of their high blood pressure,who everyone says "Gee, if only she would stop eating herself to death." Or at least in my own head that's what people are saying...I digress...) I have taken control back. Instead of being ashamed, I have shared my story with a lot of people and have gotten so much positive support and reinforcement from my family and friends. I can honestly say that I am a much healthier person today and have completely revamped my eating habits at this point. And the best news of all? I am down 28.3 pounds as of today. Don't you forget that .3 - I've earned it!!!!

This is just the beginning of my journey. I can only be hopeful that the road I've traveled thus far will pay off in that next appointment with the Doc. I'll keep you posted.

Have a wonderful and blessed Easter.

- G