Taking Back The Control

Has it really been almost four full months since I wrote a blog entry? Shame on me. But, I have good news - there is less of me to shame!!! Let me document my journey for you.

In January, I turned 40. Ugh, right? Well, I was pretty okay with it. I have a great life; a wonderful husband who loves me unconditionally, a beautiful healthy son, great siblings, a great in-law family, good friends, a good job, an awesome chorus to sing with, etc. etc. etc. I can't complain. Well, yes I can.

I have been overweight since I was 17 years old. Initially it was manageable, I could go to Weight Watchers and lose the extra 15-20 lbs. Then in my 20's I started putting it on and keeping it on. I lost weight for my wedding, like most brides do. But pretty much since then, it's been no-holds-barred. I have no excuse, other than absolute laziness. My hubby loves me no matter what weight I am, so therefore there is no motivation to be thin anymore. It's way more fun to eat whatever I want, all.the.time.

That all changed on February 7, 2011 (which also happens to be Garth Brooks' birthday) when I went for a physical. At my last doctor's appointment my blood pressure was elevated, and when the doctor looked back at the last few BP's they were also slightly higher. She came in and told me that I had borderline high blood pressure and needed to act on it, now. She mentioned BP medications, and I don't want to do that. So, we discussed diet, exercise and all the other things I wasn't ready to deal with. The Doc delivered the ultimatum: I either had to lose 10 pounds by May or I would have to go on medicine.

Sounds easy, right?!?! Huh! I went home and told my family that I would have to change my eating habits and get serious about this. I was firm. However, like with every diet I've ever tried, I start to give myself leeway and eat things I shouldn't. Until.....

A letter arrives in the mail 3 days later from the doctor saying that the results from my blood tests showed that I also have high blood sugar. WHAAAT???? No way. Not me. I almost dropped the letter out of my hands. This cannot be my life. I will not be a diabetic. NO FLIPPIN' WAY.

At first I was too ashamed to tell anyone. My hubby had to deal with me all on his own...I actually sobbed one night before going to bed. I was so devastated that I had let my health get this out of control. Eating whatever I wanted for the last 15 years came with a price, and I was not ready to pay. Due to my ferocity that I could not, and would not, be "that person" (you know, the diabetic who has to use insulin, who also had a stroke because of their high blood pressure,who everyone says "Gee, if only she would stop eating herself to death." Or at least in my own head that's what people are saying...I digress...) I have taken control back. Instead of being ashamed, I have shared my story with a lot of people and have gotten so much positive support and reinforcement from my family and friends. I can honestly say that I am a much healthier person today and have completely revamped my eating habits at this point. And the best news of all? I am down 28.3 pounds as of today. Don't you forget that .3 - I've earned it!!!!

This is just the beginning of my journey. I can only be hopeful that the road I've traveled thus far will pay off in that next appointment with the Doc. I'll keep you posted.

Have a wonderful and blessed Easter.

- G

The Year Without A Santa Claus

I remember when I found out that there was no Santa Claus. I asked my sister, C, to tell me the truth and she did. I was probably about 8 or 9, and I was probably a little relieved to know the truth. Who wants some fat guy in a red suit creeping into our house while we slept? The thought actually gave me shivers! My brother took delight in showing me all of Mom's hiding places for our gifts and took even more delight in showing me how to unwrap them (just a little) to see what they were!! I know, that's horrible, and we only ruined it for ourselves. But we also couldn't resist the temptation.

Pal found out this year. He had been teetering on the verge of knowing, deep down, but his buddy decided on the eve of Easter to tell him. The buddy's parents had clued him in, and he was busting at the seems to tell someone. Unfortunately, Pal was the first person he saw that day. Pal is still crushed. I was definitely crushed, and it ruined our Easter. It's hard when you only have one child because all those days of "pretend" are now over. The absolute funniest "dawn-on-marble-head" moment was when the Christmas Carols started playing on the radio and he heard the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" - he looked at me with this incredulous look and said with sarcasm..."Really?"

So, this year will be a bit different at our house. I don't think it will keep Pal in bed any later, because I still think the excitement of the holiday itself is what wakes him up. I can remember waking up my exhausted (and probably a little hungover) parents at 5:00 a.m. They always got up and went through the pretense of seeing if Santa showed up, whether we believed or not. My Dad used to make us wait on the stairs and he would go downstairs to put the tree lights on, and he'd yell up to us - "Santa didn't come this year - go back to bed!" Ha ha. It's something we do to Pal every year and it infuriates him!!!

Don't get me wrong, I do believe in the magic of Christmas. I believe that Christmas is always changing and our traditions are what keep us happy and hopeful.

May Santa be good to all of you this Christmas season. Remember the reason for the season, too - the birth of our saviour. Happy Birthday, Jesus!

- G

Thanks Giving

I love Thanksgiving. I think that I love it a little more than Christmas (which for me says a lot!) because it is just a day to hang out with family and eat lots of yummy food. I've never hosted a Thanksgiving so I might have a totally different perspective than some of you cooks out there! I simply love all things Fall, and the smells and foods that go with it. Here are some of my favorite things about Thanksgiving that remind me of my childhood and being with my family:

Waking up to the smell of turkey cooking
Celery sticks filled with cream cheese and sprinkled with Paprika
Whole walnuts and other nuts, with large metal nutcrackers
Fresh oranges and grapes on the table
Olives (there were always black and green olives whenever my Mom was involved!!)
Setting the table the night before with Mom's china
Mom's apple pies (luckily my sister C has carried on that tradition...yum!)
Dad cutting into an apple pie on the night before Thanksgiving
My Grandpa coming over for dinner and my brother and I would play in his wheelchair after he fell asleep!
Hot turkey sandwiches around 6:00 p.m.
More apple pie
Mom making me go to Marty's Caterers to BUY gravy because hers was (admittedly) awful!
My sister C holding a chisel and hammer over my Mom's gravy to demonstrate the awfulness!!!
Everybody being sleepy and watching football in the living room


As the years went on and our family expanded, we all couldn't fit into my parent's kitchen, and so we had to put banquet tables through the living room and den. There was never a kids table, we always sat together. Once my Mom started getting older and it became evident that her memory was failing, we started having dinner at my sister's houses. Now my brother has hosted this "event" a few times as well, and that's where we will be this year. I know my Mom will be looking down on us and she will be thankful that we are all together, in one place, carrying on the family traditions. I feel very grateful that she gave me so many great people to spend Thanksgiving with. I love you, family!


May your holiday be filled with traditions, great family and more apple pie than you can possibly eat in one day!

- G

Favorites

Another blog I like is continuing a meme she saw today, so I thought I would play along too! Thanks, Georgie of Decisionally Challenged!

It’s called Favorites!

Favorite Actor:
Probably Tom Cruise (oh, stop gagging already!). He's been in so many movies I like (A Few Good Men is my favorite...oh wait I am jumping ahead!!) Richard Gere could top the list just for Pretty Woman alone!

Favorite Actress:
Julia Roberts. Love her!

Movie:
The Sound of Music comes first, then Pretty Woman, then A Few Good Men, then My Cousin Vinny, then My Big Fat Greek Wedding....

Band:
Currently I'd have to say the Zac Brown Band.

Musical:
The Sound of Music, of course!

Novel:
The Bridges of Madison County, Montana Sky, Good in Bed.

Cuisine:
Italian, Mexican.

Wine:
yuck.

Store:
Sadly, Target. Or Kohl's.

Vampire:
(skip!)

Primetime TV series:
Currently I would say Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory. I cry laughing at these 2 shows.

Time Waster:
Uh, FACEBOOK. Duh!

Chore:
Sadly, cleaning the whole house. All is right in my world when my house is clean.

Quote:
"People may forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel."

Smell:
My son after a shower. Other than that I can't stand most strong smells.

Vacation Spot:
DISNEY! And anywhere Hubby wants to go!



Enjoy - Happy end of September!!!

-G

Back to the Grind

No more limbo. Now I'm doing the cha-cha right back into my 9-month position. As I said in my last post, I know that I am lucky to have a job. But right now I am freaking out a little bit about Pal going to Middle School. I am definitely more nervous about it than he is...and I am SO not ready to get back into the world of homework, packing lunches and bedtimes. I felt like a kid again on Monday morning when I had to return to work. Sunday night I was sad that my Summer was officially over. Poor me, I know, but it's hard to go back after 12 weeks of having the time to get everything done. Now it's crunch time again!

Back to the grind!

- G

Limbo

I am scheduled to go back to work in 2 weeks. Ugh.

That is, if I am returning to my regular job. You see, Pal is starting Middle School on August 31, and will be home in the afternoons by 2:00. I am apprehensive to leave him home for 2 hours before one of us gets home. My FIL will be home, but he tends to stay downstairs and there isn't any real supervision going on there. So, I requested to move into one of our 6-month part-time positions at work, which would allow me to be home by 1:30 and still keep my benefits. Unfortunately, NOTHING has been done about moving me into this position. It would take a few other people moving around in their positions (which they WANT to do) and moving me into one of their jobs. This is not rocket science, people!! I am waiting in limbo here, and would love to hear the news that I have more than 2 weeks left of my time off!!! (That's the real reason I want to know!).

Anyway, that's my life - in limbo for now.

I'll keep y'all posted on the job status. 9 months or 6, I have a job and am luckier than some.

- G

3 + 4 =...I need to blog more

I almost choked when I looked at the date of my last blog entry - MARCH? Are you kidding me??? Wow. Time flew and I wasn't having a LOT of fun!!!

An update on the last post: My dog is still alive, my FIL's leukemia is still under control and he is doing well, and my septic system SUCKS. In plain english. I won't bore you with the gory details, but put it this way: I now know how much it will cost to r.e.p.l.a.c.e. my septic system. Grrrrrrrrr.....

So, where have I been and what have I been up to since March 28th? We went on a family vacation to California over April school break. That was fun, but it was chilly in CA! I didn't mind it, but when you think of Cali you think of warmth and sun and beaches. We did have one nice day that we sat on the pier at Santa Monica. It was beautiful there. We did the typical southern Cali trip - Disneyland, where we stayed in a motel directly across the street from the entrance! Lego Land, which Pal was a little to old for, and the San Diego Zoo. Now THAT is a zoo! I can never again go to our local zoo, it will never live up to that!!

Pal has continued with Boy Scouts, much to his father's delight. He really seems to like it, and I know he is a bit in awe of the "older" kids. But they scare ME. Long hair and skinny jeans....UGH. We went camping in Maine over Memorial Day with our pop-up and Pal's friends family. Pal played in his Advanced Band concert and that was cool to see how much they've improved since last year. I also finished up work at the end of May and thoroughly enjoyed 3 weeks of "me time" while Pal was finishing up 5th grade! Can't believe he's going to Middle School next year. Another thing that scares ME!

4th of July weekend was fun, we went to the camper and our campground had awesome fireworks. Then we went to the annual Balloon Festival. It was fun, but I am definitely getting to the point where I am over it. I love the balloons going up but the whole weekend itself has become a chore. I don't need more chores!

So that brings me to today. On Sunday, Pal and Hubby will head off to Boy Scout Camp. For a whole week. Without me. YAAAAAAHHHOOOOOOOo!!! Oh, I mean, I'll really miss them. My living room looks like a camping store threw up, and there are two 45-gallon tubs in there collecting it all. The next few days will be a lot of work to get them both everything they need, but it will be worth it. For them. Oh, and if I happen to enjoy it a little bit, that will just be a bonus. =)

Sorry for being a neglectful blogger...I'll try harder in the future!

Happy Summer!
- G