Thursday, September 18, 2008

Everybody Poops...

I feel like all I do is talk about poop. And I don't mean bull-poop. I mean bodily function - people and animal - POOP.

When I worked in Boston, I used to take the bus to the train station and there was this couple that rode the bus with their little daughter. They would read to her on the bus, out loud, every day. One day, they were reading "Everyone Poops". It made me laugh out loud! There is even a girl poop book and a boy poop book!

Even Oprah isn't immune to talking about it with Dr. Oz on her show. According to Dr. Oz, your poop should be slightly green in color and S shaped. Go ahead, everyone looks. Oprah says that every time she gets nervous about interviewing someone, she just remembers to herself that everybody poops!

Lately, in my life, it has been talking about my niece, K, and her Ulcerative Colitis and her having surgery to remove her colon (if you want the gory details, her very descriptive blog is listed in my "Blogs I Like" section!!!). Then my Mom was diagnosed with colon cancer, and we were talking about her poop and her lifelong battle with poop-related issues. My sisters and I have talked about poop at length when discussing the need to have a colonoscopy.

My nephew has just recently become totally potty-trained, and we discussed his poop habits at length several times with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law! Of course, then I live with hubby and Pal and they think poop is a dinner-time subject. Then my father-in-law likes to regale us with the dog's poop-of-the-day! I can't get away from it! Another poop-related blog you should check out is Manic Mommy (on my list of "Blogs I Like") and read HER recent issues with poop! Now THAT is so gross I could throw up just thinking about it.

And last, but certainly not the least, is what happened yesterday....during dinner my mother-in-law told us that we might need to call a "Septic Guy" because they've been hearing gurgling noises from the toilet and shower whenever we do laundry. When she went to take a shower yesterday morning, there was a "brown liquid" in the bottom of her shower stall....NOT a good sign, no, not at all....hubby called the "Septic Guy" and he told us to dig up the septic tank!!! Well, not the whole thing, but the top of it where the caps are, so we can look in and see if it's full. EWWWWWW.
He also wants to know when the last time it was pumped, and I luckily remembered seeing a receipt from the previous owner for a pump-out in '02. I dug that out, and also found the plot plan for our house (which we have owned for 3 years) and on the back of the plans were EXACT DIRECTIONS to the location of said septic tank caps!

God Bless You, previous homeowner!!! We love you, buddy, wherever you live now!!

After about an hour of digging, hubby unearthed the caps and opened them, much to Pal's delight. EWWWWWW. Pal runs into the house and says "Daddy told me to shut the door because the smell is really bad." This is not a good sign. When I asked him if he looked in the tank he said "Yeah, it was all muddy and wet". EWWWWWW.

Today Mr. Septic was coming to see for himself whether the sucker is full. It's a sh*tty job, but someone's got to do it!!!! Glad I'm not doing HIS laundry, gurgling noises included!

I'll let you know how my poop-fest turns out, possibly tomorrow.


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