Saturday, September 6, 2008

Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed, Something Blue

I'll warn you up front - this not a post about an ancient wedding tradition.

Something Old:

My Mom has Alzheimer's Disease. This is the "something old" for our family, we've been dealing with this for about 8 years. She was officially diagnosed in September 2005, but we had noticed the signs for many years before this. She would lose her car in the Mall parking lot, forget where she put her pocketbook at family gatherings, lose her cell phone repeatedly. In more recent times, she forgot that her Mother was dead...or even at her sister's own funeral would forget who was in the coffin.

Something New:

They don't call it NEWs for no reason. We found out on Wednesday that Mom has colon cancer. The word cancer itself evokes a nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach. Mom was living in an Alzheimer's unit at an Assisted Living Facility. They were not capable of handling her personality, and recently started sending her off to the hospital for what seemed like stupid reasons. Well, thank God for their persistence, or insistence. The decision to put Mom through a colonoscopy was not an easy one, because we know she would NOT agree to it if she was in her "right mind". But the hospital staff talked us into it and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. At least now we know WHY she has so many problems, and our decision to move her to a Nursing Home was made easier knowing that they will be able to keep her comfortable during this ordeal.

Something Borrowed:

As of right now, we are on borrowed time with my Mom. They cannot operate on the cancerous polyps in her colon because she could hemorrhage and bleed to death. And because they cannot remove the polyps, we don't know exactly what stage she is in. The doctor said it is NOT in the early stages, that's for sure. So, we really have no idea whether Mom will be around for a long time or if she'll go quickly. My faith is in God - He will take her when He is good and ready. In the meantime, we can only make her comfortable and make the most of the time we have left.

Something Blue:

We are all feeling blue about this latest development with Mom....I cannot stop repeating the words "My Mother has cancer" in my head. I wake up in the middle of the night and that's all I can think about. I've always been so thankful that cancer has not touched my immediate family, and now I can't say that anymore. Cancer invades more than just the affected person's body - it affects everyone that loves them, too. I have unfortunately dealt with the loss of many people in my life to cancer, but this is the first time it has felt so heavy...inside. I just have to have faith that God knows what He is doing.

I'll end this post with a line from a song I love:
"To hear with my heart, to see with my soul, to be guided by a hand I cannot hold, to trust in a way that I cannot see, THAT'S what FAITH must be."


1 comment:

Kate said...

That was awesome Aunnie Gail. And its true, we can only put our faith in God. Love you to death.